Frustrations abound for me today…

While you’d think I’d be happy to have just found out that people other than pros have now been invited to the Halo 4 Global Championship, I’m not. Call me jealous. It’s fine. That is an accurate description.

In a previous article:

Halo 4 Global Championship….VERY skewed…

I mentioned my disdain that pro players were being invited to this tournament. Especially given that they hadn’t earned their way there by competing and WINNING a spot in the Halo 4 Global Championship.

Here’s the specific paragraph:
Also, NO frackin’ way I’d invite people in to play that didn’t participate in the competition. If you’re going to invite pro-players (which already scants the competition to a pro winning it all), AND inviting 4v4 teams instead of straight up FFA (some where some were not), then where do you stop inviting people? Community leaders may say they would like a shot too. Do you allow them in? What about those smaller groups/sites/etc (like me for instance) that while not as well known, put their life into Halo? See where I’m going with this? Regardless that those pros being invited have to pay to get Seattle, the point is they did NOT work for it in the ACTUAL competition. Or even if they had and not qualified, then maybe they should not be going…just sayin’.

Now I’ve come to find out that sites like Ready Up Live, GrifballHub and others have been invited. Again, you may think, “Hey, that’s cool community people are getting to go.” I know I should feel that way too, but as I mentioned above, where then do these invites stop? Will lesser known/smaller sites get invites? How about random invites to everyday Halo gamers? I don’t think that’s going to happen for the latter two. With respect to RUL, they’ve had PLENTY of recognition. Dan Hamill AKA Greenskull, last year was invited to go to the set of “Forward Unto Dawn.” There he got to interview various cast members. As well, he got recognition in Halo 4 by way of his hometown being the used as the name of a manufacturer of Halo armor (Look up the War Master armor. “Lethbridge Industrial” is the manufacturer. Dan is from Lethbridge.). He has some kind of relationshisp with Microsoft and has had recognition by them in the form of an award. Now he and some of his staff are getting to go to the Halo 4 GC. With respect, when is that going to end? RUL is NOT a Halo only site. They promote and play many other games. If they were Halo centric and/or ONLY Halo, I would be inclined to feel differently, but I’m not.

I’m not against GirfballHub from being invited. They ARE Halo centric. However, I’m not seeing any of the myriad of smaller lesser known sites being invited to this. My buddy Dust from Podtacular got an invite. I’m happy for him. But again, he’s been around a LONG time and is well known in the Halo community.

…Sorry I wasn’t able to get into Halo earlier on folks. I guess that makes me less of a Halo fan??? Or does it?

I’m coming up on two years now with HaloFanForLife. During that whole time I’ve unfortunately been unemployed. Yet, I still found a way to get the money to create the site, add content, much of which cost me money in the form of toys and other collectibles to review. The few conventions I’ve gone to were again through my own monies. I’ve never let this be known before now but I initially did not have lodging secured for New York Toy Fair. Yet, I was still going to go, even if it meant I would have had to stay in a hotel lobby all night or some all-night restaraunt. I was very willing to make that sacrifice to be at the convention so I could cover Halo. Crazy? Maybe, but it shows the amount of devotion and the lengths I am willing to go through to be a part of the community and to promote Halo.  I have no sponsors for the blog, I have NO advertising. And only just a few weeks ago put up a donation button of which only two people have donated money. I make NO money from my site (like many larger site do) I’m not in this to make money from my fandom. You can call me “stupid” for not allowing myself to cash in on my fandom or using it to propel myself into a business. I”m NOT about that. In fact I had this very discussion last night with fellow fans and gamers. My wish is to be employed by 343. That would be the pinnacle for me and the best most direct way to represent the community.

I know these larger sites do a bit for the Halo community. They are more effective because they are bigger….and they are only going to get bigger when they keep getting all of this recognition. So I direct you towards the smaller sites. Many of us are one person operations. Using myself as an example, I put no less than 4-5 hours a day into my site be it through the blog itself, or social media in twitter and facebook. As well, I game daily typically 4-5 hours a day in Halo. I’d do even more, but much of the rest of the time awake is spent either looking for employment or spending it with my family. Some would say I have no life. I’d say it’s a HALOva life…

So I hope you folks will forgive me if I feel just a bit jealous here. I’m already quite upset with the whole Global Championship tourney. The cheating going on, the disconnect by 343 to recognize said cheating and deal with it head on, etc. Yeah, I know it seems counter to my thoughts on this to want to be invited to a tourney that I feel is fatally flawed. But one reason I’d have liked an invite is just to see that 343 does indeed care about or at least recognizes smaller sites. As well, I want a non-pro to win this. So in that regard, jealousy aside, I do want one of these invited community members to win. And I mean that sincerely.

Beyond all of this, I’m also today dealing with someone on a LEGO collecting site using MY name to promote my reviews of Halo MEGA BLOKS sets. So my identity is being stolen in a sense, by a competitor of a legally binding Halo licensee no less. I’ve contacted the admin of that site and they are NOT being helpful at all.

On top of all of this, I now find that I’m possibly two months from losing my home. Let that sink in and you can see why my day has been horrendous.

So again, forgive me folks if I can’t deal with all of this crap in the appropriate way today. It’s just a bit much to take in. I’m working hard on my blog’s two year anniversary with the LAN event being the biggest portion of that. I’m trying to make a name for myself as well as promote small sites, individual fans of Halo, etc. I’m for the little guy out there as I am one of them too.

Maybe I just need to step away from the computer today. But it’s all still going to be there regardless so what’s the point?

So yeah, I’m extremely frustrated today. So again apologies to you dear readers. I do not mean to upset any of you with my posts, tweets etc. I just need to get this all off my chest. Venting in this manner is much better than trying to keep it in. Well, that’s how I see it anyway.

I guess I should mention this in closing, I suffer from anxiety and depression and yes take meds for that. I do NOT shy away from this condition nor speaking about it publically. One of the unfortunate side effects is that it compels me to react to situation in what others see as over the top reactions. I can’t apologize for this folks. It’s part of who I am. To deny that would be to deny myself. That’s something I won’t ever do. I of course hate that I have these conditions, but it is what it is. Hopefully you can understand me better through this and why I sometimes post the way I do. The ONE thing I know that would virtually wipe that out is finally finding a job again. Can anyone help?

-Sal

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About Sal

I’ve got tons of experience with Halo gaming and collecting. I feel I have something to offer to the greater Halo fan community. Posts along the way will be about tips and tricks in the games as well as collecting and many more Halo related things. I’ll also repost interesting articles from the official site, Halowaypoint.com, or from fellow Halo fan sites. As I continue this blog, I hope to help gamers who want advice on the games, as well as any collectors with regards to where to find collectibles as well as deals, coupons and so on. You can also follow me on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/#!/HaloFanForLife or Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/halofanforlife11. Welcome to my blog and I hope you’ll come back again and again. -Sal

3 thoughts on “Frustrations abound for me today…

  1. Hi Sal,

    Just wanted to say that’s it’s ok to be frustrated, anyone in your position would be.
    Plus the threat of losing your home is no doubt very scary.
    I hope something will happen to turn things around for you, you deserve it.

    Don’t give up hope!

  2. damn dude i really feel bad for you. i know how it is to be unemployed, though i was still living at home, but i still had bills like everyone else. And to know that your home is now in jeopardy really makes things worse. I wish there WAS something that i could do for you,i really wanted to donate, and still will just things are not as great for myself either at the moment. I hope you do find something that will bring some money in man and soon. That would be super stellar if 343 could find something for you, you certainly know your Halo stuff. I’m pulling for ya man, even though i never met you (yet) i still kinda feel like your a friend of mine, and i dont like to see my friends suffer. I really hope things work out for you.
    keep your head up buddy
    Ian

  3. Sal,

    Damn. I am so sorry. You are too good of a person to have this happen. I know I am repeating what others have said, but I wish I could do more for you. I asked my wife again about some of the vendors I mentioned to you a few months back if they were hiring and she said she has not heard anything.

    Oh, and you have no need to apologize. You speak your mind and your feelings and while I may not always agree with you I respect you for that. It takes courage to put yourself and your feelings out there.

    Please keep you head up and if there is anything I can do, let me know.

    Sal

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